Wednesday, October 10, 2007
It Is Not A Passive Or Spontaneous Experience
I had a conversation with a friend today about her marital problem that has been going on for quite sometime now. I dont want to go on a details about it. I just want to share what I've just shared with my friend and hope to touch individual lives.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown; blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfilment. Extramarital fulfilment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. It takes time, effort and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work. It won't be easy because it is a lifetime process. read it here...
That's all for now folks and have a great day. Continue voting for this blog mydaysinmymind.