Temporary insanity, confusion and destruction on my regular daily routine is what causing all these time. I guess I finally have the answer but just having some hard time accepting it. I will try my best not to be destructed this time now that I know I shouldn't. I will continue my life as it is and be happy for what God has given me.
At least now I know, it's not a choice but something that can not be control by the mind. It was just this doubt that is keeping me out of accepting it. I was so traumatize by these prolonged believe that it was just an illusion of happiness. Continues destruction of happiness. Oh God help me get through these. Thank you for all the blessings